0Have you ever experienced becoming fast friends with someone and then gradually the friendship fades and suddenly you no longer share that great bond that you thought you once shared? What causes attachments or for that matter, other emotional relationships to fade away gradually? Well, there can be many reasons attributed to that, but sometimes it just happens without any visible cause. So what happens in such cases?
Many times we misjudge people's reactions and responses towards us. We might be thinking rationally, but still, we can make mistakes in judging other's intentions. It is possible because the aspects of one's day to day life that affects one's behaviour are varied and spread over a broad spectrum of areas. It makes us susceptible to misunderstand people while they may not have any ill feelings about us at all.
This misunderstanding is accepted as a norm, and we often take this into account before reacting to someone and make improvisations in our responses so that we are not misunderstood. Sometimes in doing so we lose the sight of what actually matters in the long run. For instance, making use of stylized emoticons while chatting with someone on WhatsApp has become so common as a norm that if a person does not do that and focuses on the conversation, honestly he or she comes out as rude to the other person. It further entangles the understanding of the hidden emotions or intentions in the conversation.
Human nature is such that we are always concerned to a different extent about what others think of us. We seek some kind of approval of our self-believed notions or our thinking of ourself as a person. Why are we so vulnerable to other's judgement of ourself? The answer partially likes in the fact that we expect others to reciprocate the same amount or more of love, respect, care, friendliness etc. that we think we are giving them.
When we are not satisfied with their reaction or response, we feel cheated and start questioning the response. In doing so, we put the highest weightage in response to something in relation with us while giving little or no weightage to other personal or professional aspects of their life that might affect their mind at the moment of response. It is also possible that our perception of the reaction was different from theirs.
It explains, to some extent, the reason why intelligent or overthinking individuals find it hard to maintain friendships. They put too much thought into every small part of their interaction with their friends that they end up getting all the answers in their minds about how the other person might be feeling while saying something. It eliminates the possibility of confrontation, which is essential in case of some emotional conflict to resolve it and to strengthen the bond of friendship further.
So what is the remedy of this? One effective way can be not to think much and put too many expectations on your friends. Whatever you do is part of your decision, and it should end as soon as it is done.
Sometimes we should just count what the other person says and not what our mind tells us he or she might be thinking. We should give some space to grey areas where no logic applies and the other person has his or her reasons for behaving the way they behaved in a particular situation.
To sum up, we should not be so fragile to get hurt by mere possible intentions of someone that may not even exist in the first place instead we should don the cap of that more reliable friend to whom others look up to in the times of need.
