Facing a Bully in School

June 2010. The school has re-opened. Parents and children are glowing. However, parents of class V are casting furtive glances at each other. Mrs. Radha Seshadri, class teacher for class VB is morose. Why me? She complains to her family deity Tirupathi Balaji. She has also sent a text message to her husband - "Please pray for me. Ishwarappa has been put in my class". Mrs. Girija Ramani and Mrs. Sumathi Raghavendra, class teachers for classes VA and VC walk towards their respective classrooms with a song on their lips and a swing in their movement, relieved that Ishwarappa is not in their class. Parents of classes VA and VC heave a sigh of relief and are ecstatic. Mr. Harihara balan, father of Soumya Iyer (Class VA) thanks Lord Ganesha and decides to fulfill his promise of breaking a coconut. Aniruddha Paranjpe's father Shankar Paranjpe is delighted that Ishwarappa is not in his son's class (Class VC).The parents of students in class VB look gloomy as though the skies have fallen on them. Ishwarappa - the trouble maker Ishwarappa has been a troublemaker right from the time he enrolled in the school. Parents of his classmates have spent sleepless nights. Ishwarappa has bit students with his sharp teeth, pulled the hairs of girls, tore off the shirt of some of the boys. The school principal, chairman, class teachers have called their parents umpteen times and given them warning, but to no avail. After much persuasion, Ishwarappa's mother has agreed to seek medical help. Somewhat tamed now, Ishwarappa is temperamental and short tempered and without doubt, a nightmare for the teachers and students alike.   The helpless School The school is utterly helpless as Ishwar's father has contacts and has warned the school that any attempts to rusticate his son will face retaliation from him using his political influence.  It is a Hobson's choice as the parents and school are caught between the devil and the deep sea. All that they can do is keep their fingers crossed and look heavenwards and counsel their children. "Darling please do not go near him. Don't talk to him. Stay away from him." "Teacher, please can you change my daughter's seat? My daughter doesn't want to sit next to Ishwar. Please teacher. Have mercy on her". When Ishwarappa fell sick.... The entire class VB literally rejoiced when they heard that Ishwarappa was sick and would be indisposed for close to two weeks. The teachers were relieved. Parents were glad that their children were safe for two weeks.  Bullies in School Now, Ishwarappa may be a bully and much more than that. If you are a parent whose child is studying in class VB in this school you will understand the anguish. Bullies behave so because they have some grave insecurity. But even if we ignore this fact, one cannot deny that children like Ishwarappa have a neurological/psychological disorder. When every other child shuns him, Ishwarappa feels isolated. If teachers are finding it difficult to handle him and do not care a damn, Ishwarappa, craving for attention, does something that grabs everyone's attention. Stand up to them! The best way to face a bully is to ignore him the first few times and if things do not improve, it is better to stand up to him. This will sort of tame him. The more you show your fear, the more he will try to harm you. Most bullies will cower down when you face them and clearly tell them that you will tolerate up to a limit and not any more. One can be strict without being violent! In the case of Ishwarappa, it is strange that the teachers in the school and the headmistress are unable to counsel/ help the child. May be they have tried and given up. May be the child has a handicap that is not visible to the naked eye. Such children need counselors who are trained to handle them. Teach your child to fight his/her own battles. This will make them strong, bold and more confident to handle the challenges in life. Future....? One fails to understand why Ishwar's parents cannot read the writing on the wall that their child needs help. May be, the class and the teachers should have visited Ishwarappa when he was out sick. May be he craves for love and turns violent when he does not get it. As parents we have moral responsibility to educate our child, to train them and to advice them to handle the bullies in school in an intelligent manner and safeguard themselves. Vigilance is the need of the hour.